Life Is Very Difficult

May honest folk proper.

Something to be regretted. Something to be hated.

Since I began to work on my dissertation, I have wasted a large amount of time. I failed to follow my supervisor’s advice once and had to reevaluate the assumption of my work, which was a tiresome business. I used to read articles and books randomly so that I read a lot but could take nothing from them. I think I was in panic at that time. Thus, I wasted a lot of time. 

But is this wasting of time something to be regretted? I don’t think so. I don’t mean to say that, because we can learn a lot from failures, the wasted time was not in fact in vain. The fact that I want to emphasize here is that there was nothing else for me to do at that time. Considering the circumstances I was placed in and my disposition, I would have done the same even if I could have come back at the time. You can repent of the past only if you can say you could have done otherwise. But I don’t think so. What happened was inevitable. Therefore, I cannot regret the wasted time. It was to be wasted.

But if someone asked me whether I love my past, I would say I hated it. One can hate what one doesn’t regret.